A personal note

With the new year starting I wanted to start with a more personal note. A new year means making new plans for our business but also looking back at 2017 to reflect and take this with us for the new year.

This post was something I had on my mind for a long time but I needed to convince myself a bit to write it down and share it with you. But after talks with Vivian about the last year and the year to come it feels right to do so.  The past year has been a year with highs and lows and overall has not been the most easy year for me personally. And you probably all know that when you don’t feel good about yourself and life is giving you a bit of a hard time this reflects on everything else both private as business wise. The past few years we have worked a lot, realised great projects, worked for great brands and had so many great ideas and plans for our company. Some ideas we realised and some not because let’s be honest sometimes there are just not enough hours to realise everything.

We finished a project and went on to the next one immediately after, in between the blog has been very important for us to keep up and post on a daily basis. Images needed to be added, edited and shared online with our followers…oh and there were these new plans to grow our business. This year it felt like it was a bit too much, there was no balance between work and me as a mom and let’s not forget to be the right partner to my love. I was tired all of the time and for the first time in my life owning my own company and brand I missed a bit of the sparkle. It all felt overwhelming to keep up with everything online and offline because at the end of the day I also had to keep up with our followers, share images, comment and response.

What started as a passion became more something that just had to be done and the must-do-it factor overshadowed the like-to-do-it feeling. Days didn’t have enough hours to do everything that needed to be done and in the end I didn’t feel like the person I wanted to be, I wasn’t the mom I wanted to be to me kids because I felt tired and more impatient.

Life can feel overwhelming and sometimes changes are necessary to feel good again and bring that sparkle back. The last year has been a lot about setting priorities and finding balance. Asking myself a lot of questions about what’s important for me and what matters the most. What about all the dreams bot private as for our business and how to fulfil them in a way that feels good. The feeling of always lacking time and rushing around when you feel nothing gets your real attention and your lacking on both levels made me feel trapped and so tired.  What is important for me when I look back at my life…Do I let things pass by because I think there is no time for it or I cannot handle it and what is important for me personally?

Did I feel like wanting to quit sometimes? Yes there were definitely these moments but we have done so many great things, build up so many and people around us told us they have been following us for so many years that this really never felt the right way. In the end our company feels like my baby and quitting is not an option.

All these feelings and lots of thinking and talking about it made me realise I had to make changes in my life that give more balance at work and at home for my kids and myself. It made me realise that is ok and necessary to to disconnect sometimes…because in the end your offline life is much more important then your online life. I love what we do, creating concepts, stories and images, inspiring people but I do feel the need to not always be present and enjoy the moment without distractions.

I started with a few changes after summer holiday and the first was changing my work schedule on a daily basis and being more present for my kids after school hours. I will talk about this and more resolutions for this new year in a next post.

Let’s end this personal story with the positive things the past year also brought me and us. My kids doing great, our new home that we are enjoying so much and of course there was the birth of Vivian her first little one, a girl called Sjors. She is so cute and beautiful and my boys are totally in love with her…and me too of course. These special moments make you realise there is nothing more important then your family. The return of Vivian after her maternity leave made me feel really happy too … being reunited again and working on our project again together felt I was more complete again. The year also ended with some great projects and collaborations we finished that made us feel proud again of what we do.

This year started with many great ideas for our company and some celebrations we will share with you soon. Our head is exploding with new ideas and the feeling to work on new amazing things makes me feel happy again. I will continue to think more about myself and the balance I need to feel good. We will share more about this and other personal stories with you during this new year.

“If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you to places, Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness…”

- Jantine -